


That Awkward Age

by Sand3



Category: New X-Men: Academy X, X-Men (Comicverse)
Genre: Josh Foley/Laurie Collins (past)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-22
Updated: 2019-09-22
Packaged: 2020-10-25 18:14:02
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,930
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20728598
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sand3/pseuds/Sand3
Summary: Spoilers for House of X, issue 5.Josh can no longer avoid having one of the hardest conversations of his life.





	That Awkward Age

“I asked at the kitchen, and Marilyn said she could wrap up sandwiches and things, so I thought maybe we could- we could have lunch together on the beach,” Laurie said, shifting her weight back and forth between her feet and twisting the end of a lock of hair around in her fingers.

She saw Josh pause what he was doing, sorting out and putting away a new shipment of medical supplies. He pursed his lips, his eyes focused on a box of vinyl gloves he was holding. Laurie watched the bob of his adams apple as he swallowed, then her eyes traveled up and around the contour of his jaw, so much squarer than she remembered. He was taller by two inches, maybe a hair more, and his shoulders and chest were wider, more muscular. More mature. He finally looked up at her and gave a fragile smile, his eyes weren’t in it and his brow was knit. “Yeah, okay. We… We should probably talk,” he said quietly.

Laurie clenched her teeth as it felt like an invisible hand was squeezing at her lungs and she blinked quickly, fighting against the hot, wet feeling invading her eyes. She looked down. “We should talk?” she echoed softly. It hurt to force the words out past the lump in her throat.

“... Laurie, you’re sixteen,” Josh said softly, barely more than a whisper. “I’m not.”

She squeezed her eyes shut, and a little surge of outrage made it easier to fight the squeezed feeling in her chest. “I seem to remember  _ you _ dating an adult when  _ you _ were sixteen.”

She heard Josh sigh. “And now I have the perspective to understand why Dani and Emma freaked out about it so much,” he said. “From the other side of that gap… it looks pretty fucked up.”

“You’re not being  _ fair! _ ” Laurie shouted and then sobbed.

“I’m sorry,” Josh whispered. “I don’t think there  _ is _ any way to be fair here.”

“You’re seeing someone  _ else _ , aren’t you?” Laurie demanded, feeling childish, which only made her feel worse. “It’s that  _ Hope _ , isn’t it? You’re always  _ with _ her!”

“No, Laurie,” Josh shook his head, and then rubbed a hand over his face and stepped back to lean against the counter. “Hope is… It feels like she’s my sister.”

“Then  _ who? _ ” Laurie pressed. “ _ Bleach-Bangs? _ ”

“ _ No _ ... I spent the last two years meditating on a mountain. I haven’t been real focused on the dating scene,” Josh replied, shaking his head. “I’m just- I’m just now trying to get back into being social at all… I was having a lot of trouble personing for a while, and so I kind of stayed away from most people.”

Laurie wiped her knuckles across her cheeks and sniffed. “Then- Then it’s fine, right? If you’re not seeing anybody else, then we could--”

“You’re sixteen.”

“Shut up,” Laurie whispered, staring at the floor.

Silence stretched out agonizingly for a few minutes, Josh leaning against the counter, arms folded defensively, Laurie looking down at her feet, feeling new tears on her cheeks already. “... I’m not the person you remember, Laurie,” Josh said softly. “... Has anybody told you that I’m not just a healer?”

Laurie swallowed and sniffed. She glanced up at him, frowning. “What does that mean?”

“My powers can go in reverse,” Josh said, he wasn’t looking at her now. “... I’ve done it a few times.”

“... You’ve done what?” Laurie asked, feeling a sudden wave of sick apprehension.

“I’ve killed people,” Josh said, still not looking at her. A minute passed in silence, because Laurie didn’t know how to respond to that, felt completely numb and disbelieving at it. It couldn’t be true. “... I killed Stryker,” Josh finally said. “Three days after you were killed. After he and Riseman had killed you and Jay, and they  _ thought _ they’d killed Sooraya, they came to the school to sweep up… Everything was in chaos, everybody was running around screaming, and I spotted Stryker when he was going after David and the Cuckoos with a damn plasma gun… I grabbed him, and… I made the cell membranes in all his organs start rupturing… I wanted him to  _ hurt _ .”

Laurie looked down at the floor again, swallowing. “... He was an evil man,” she whispered.

“Yeah… He was,” Josh agreed softly. He was quiet for a minute, before saying in a voice that was barely audible, “You should ask Kevin about me.”

Laurie’s brow furrowed and she bit her lip against a surge of nausea. “... Why?”

“Because he was the second person I killed.”

Laurie’s shaking breaths turned to short, sharp, painful gasps and sobs. This couldn’t be true. None of it. This didn’t make any sense. Josh wasn’t a killer. He’d never do anything like that. Just as her knees felt like they were about to give out, just as she felt an immense sob coming on, the door behind her opened. Laurie whipped around instinctively to face the intruder, and then immediately regretted it, mortified, knowing that her face was covered in tears and her nose was starting to run and she was probably all red and puffy.

Hellion froze three steps into the room, eyes wide, startled, a hint of panic in them, as he saw Laurie and then glanced back and forth between her and Josh. “... Sorry,” he whispered, cringing deeply. “I just--” He gave a helpless shrug as he held up the box, more medical supplies, that he was carrying in his metal hands. Why were his hands metal? “Sorry,” he said again, shoving the box out into the air, and it hovered over to the counter next to Josh. “Sorry.” He took a backwards step toward the door.

“What are you even  _ doing _ here?!” Laurie screamed, suddenly livid in her embarrassment. “Shouldn’t you be somewhere  _ bullying _ somebody or  _ showing off?! _ ”

“Laurie, he’s a nurse,” Josh said quietly behind her.

Laurie grimaced in confusion. Of all the ludicrous things she’d heard in the last few minutes, that might have been the hardest to believe.

“I’ll just- just g--” Hellion started, grabbing for the door.

Laurie’s feet were moving before her brain registered having made any decision. She ran past him, flinging the door open and escaping. She ran through the tiled hall, sobbing hysterically. She didn’t know where she was going, just away from that existential torture chamber.

\--

The door swung shut behind Laurie. It didn’t slam because of the pneumatic hinge, but the sound of it softly closing itself still echoed through Josh’s head like thunder. He bit his lip hard, staring at the floor.

“... That looked rough,” Julian said quietly.

Josh pried his hands off the counter, they’d been gripping the edge so hard his fingers hurt for a moment before his powers kicked in reflexively, and rubbed them over his face. “... Yeah,” he agreed, voice cracking.

“Are you okay?” Julian asked. Josh heard him take a couple of steps forward and then pause. “Do- Do you want me to fuck off? Do you need some space?”

“Don’t… Please,” Josh whimpered.

“Okay, I’m here… You look like you could use a drink. Maybe there’s Ethanol in one of these boxes,” Julian said, his voice affecting a forced lighter tone. “We could mix it with some Emergen-C.  _ Yummy _ .”

A sound halfway between a chuckle and a sob fell through Josh’s lips. The sounds that came after it were definitely sobs. A moment later, Julian was there, pulling him in. Josh reached back, not bothering to look up; he probably wouldn’t have been able to blink the tears out of his eyes fast enough to focus anyway. He wrapped his arms around Julian’s shoulders and buried his face against his neck, sobbing shamelessly for a few minutes before he started to get back control of his diaphragm and quiet down. “S-S-Sorry,” he choked.

“Don’t even bother,” Julian whispered back. “... I know how weird and- and  _ nauseatingly _ happy-scary-freaky this is for the rest of us… but it’s got to be ten times worse for you.”

Josh sobbed again and hiccuped. “I- I didn’t know what I was going to do. I didn’t know what I was going to say,” he whispered. “I think I said the right thing, didn’t I?”

“... I wasn’t here,” Julian murmured. “What did you say?”

“I said ‘no’,” Josh answered. “She’s sixteen.”

“You said the right thing,” Julian replied, voice firm; Josh could feel him nodding a little. “They make laws about that kind of thing for a reason.”

“... And I stopped being the person she wanted the moment I became a killer,” Josh mumbled, balling his fingers in the fabric of Julian’s shirt and squeezing his eyes shut harder.

“No,  _ fuck _ that, you’re not a  _ ‘killer’ _ ,” Julian snapped quietly. “You’re a man who will kill evil people to save innocent ones. And even then, only when you’re backed into a corner. That’s not a  _ ‘killer’ _ .”

“... I told her to talk to Kevin,” Josh whispered and then bit his lip hard.

“God  _ damn _ it, Josh!” Julian groaned. “I don’t care about this ‘amnesty’ shit, Kevin’s a fucking  _ monster _ .”

“He was your friend.”

“He tried to  _ murder _ Cessile. He  _ did _ murder Syd. I  _ never _ knew him,” Julian snapped. “... You shouldn’t have told Laurie to go get  _ his _ side. You  _ know _ how much he loves embellishing whatever he can pass off as your faults.”

Josh hiccuped and swallowed.

Julian gave a loud sigh. “Nori’ll set her right, anyway,” he muttered. After a minute, his hands moved to Josh’s shoulders and pulled them apart a step. “Hey,” he whispered, and a cool titanium hand cupped his cheek gently, then Julian leaned his forehead against Josh’s. “I think you really do need that drink. C’mon, I’ll put shit away later. There’s a six pack in my fridge.”

“... Cecillia’s gonna be pissed off if she comes in and finds it all over the counter,” Josh noted quietly.

“And that’ll be funny. But  _ you’re _ not even supposed to be doing this in the first place, isn’t it rest-time for you?” Julian pointed out. “Were you just making busy-work for yourself to avoid Laurie?”

Josh pursed his lips, swallowing again. “She asked if I was seeing someone, like that was the only logical reason I wouldn’t jump into bed with a sixteen year old,” he whispered. “... She’s going to be really hurt if I do ever start dating again.”

“You’re not cut out for celibacy, Josh,” Julian replied. “Maybe pray she finds somebody new first. Praying’s something you like doing, right?”

“Praying isn’t really a  _ like-dislike _ kind of thing,” Josh retorted, taking a step back and wiping at his face, first with his hands, then going to the sink to grab a paper towel.

“... Sorry that came out sounding kinda belittling, huh?” Julian noted.

“Yeah,  _ kind _ of,” Josh agreed, blowing his nose into a paper towel and then leaning down over the sink to splash his face.

“Maybe I’m jealous of people who have faith,” Julian murmured.

Josh turned off the water and reached for another paper towel. “... God isn’t floating in space. The Devil isn’t underground. They’re things you find a little bit of in every person you meet.”

“ _ Damn _ , man, write a  _ book _ ,” Julian chuckled.

“Maybe later,” Josh said, drying off his face and tossing out the damp towels. “Right now I have to get stupid drunk.”

“Damn right you do,” Julian agreed, and as he turned to walk toward the door with Josh, he reached out and put a hand on his shoulder. “I mean, what’s the use of healing powers if you can’t flip the bird at alcohol poisoning?”

“Sound logic,” Josh agreed.

**Author's Note:**

> This is one of those bunnies that came to me and then I vomited up onto the page all in one sitting. Very rare for me, but I'm pleased with how it came out.
> 
> The fact that people shouldn't age when they're _dead_ is something that always super bothered me with Doug Ramsey's resurrection, because it was _never_ brought up. The narrative seems to imply/treat him like he's still the same age as the other original New Mutants, when really he should have woken up sixteen and them all in their twenties. Even more disturbing when one of the plot-lines later in that New Mutants run involves him getting raped a lot. I am side-eyeing you _so_ goddamn hard, Wells.
> 
> On Julian being a nurse: In case you missed it (because it wasn’t really an X-book) he was candy-striping at the New Attilan Hospital in upperstate NY for at least a few months post Secret Wars. And yeah, Medusa built Julian a _whole damn hospital_ because he made her feel so bad when he tried to die of M-Pox _literally_ (not figuratively) on her front porch. Julian wins at guilt-tripping. Anyway, the scene where he appears in Uncanny Avengers, _damn_ but that boy looks happier/more fulfilled than he has since before M-Day, so I imagined that he found his calling and enrolled in an RN program after NAH closed down. He'd make a hell of a first-responder too. Who need an ambulance? We're _flying_.
> 
> On Josh and praying: Josh seems to be pan-spiritual (references to both Buddhism and Christianity in his canon) but apparently when he plot-hole disappeared from continuity for (shit wow) _SIX YEARS_ (publishing-time, not in-universe), he was working at missions (per Uncanny X-Men vol 4).


End file.
